Parental Instructions Take an Unexpected Turn

Life Moments, , ,

It must have been when our son was around 11 or 12 when we’d let him stay home alone while we went out for a night of grownup, childless debauchery. Despite his eyes being glued to the T.V., we felt certain he understood our instructions: Don’t answer the door; Don’t watch [fill in the blank] on Netflix; and Don’t answer the phone unless it’s us. What kind of parents would we be if we didn’t, right? Plus, we’ve always followed up with Love you.

Then, when he started going out with friends, these snippets of parental advice elevated to things like, Make good choices and Be smart. 

Once he got his driver’s license, it forced us to dig into our bag of parent-isms and come up with a new set to accommodate this life milestone. Don’t text, Don’t drink, and Be careful. (Make good choices and Be Smart also carried over because, hey, they can work in any situation.)

Our son has never done anything to make us believe he will become a ward of the state; he’s always been responsible, respectful, and trustworthy. But still, we’re parents and it feels weird not saying something. You just have to. You hope that in the unlikely event his friends ask him to take part in a crime spree that’ll spread across several state lines, he’ll say, “You know, my mom said to make good choices. I’m out.” Deep down, we know he’ll do the right thing because for years, we’ve witnessed him doing just that.

Still . . .

After these first six months of being a licensed driver, our son can now finish our parental sentences before we do. It’s generally accompanied by a nod and an eye roll. Fortunately, he has a good sense of humor and often indulges us. Yesterday, as he headed out to meet some friends, I yelled, “Don’t be an asshole!”

My husband, in the midst of eating lunch, nearly choked. Then we all laughed. Our son said that he loved that one the most and asked if it could encompass all the other warnings and instructions. We agreed. (We still say Love you though.)

I told him that I’d put it on a t-shirt, which he wholeheartedly welcomed. 

"Don't Be An Asshole" --Mom

I designed it; I didn’t say I’d actually order it. 

So teach your kids to not be assholes. They may actually hear you. I later received this status update:
Parental Instructions

Get Over It, Harper Lee Fans (or ex-fans, as it may be)

Authors, Books, , , , ,

Harper Lee booksAdvice to authors: watch your back, because if you have the audacity to not meet your readers’ demands, you will be skewered. I feel for Harper Lee. It took only a matter of days to rip her down from a place of reverence and admiration (a position readers have bestowed upon her over the last fifty-five years) all because readers sanctified one of her characters.

(A character who the amazing Gregory Peck gave a nice, polished finish to.) 

Go Set a Watchman tells the truth and the truth can hurt. In To Kill a Mockingbird, Finch is defending the law, not supporting desegregation. We see Atticus through the eyes of his adoring 6-year-old daughter, so it’s not hard to imagine readers becoming the same 6-year-old who later discovers disappointing truths. But to say things like, Harper Lee ruined my life; and To Kill a Mockingbird is no longer my favorite book, is childish and petty. To suggest that Lee owed readers a happy ending to the lives of these fictional characters is selfish. You don’t have to like it, but to tear her down because of it, is terrible. Get over it.

To Kill a Mockingbird took on a life of its own and it’s no wonder Lee didn’t publish anything until now. If anyone wants a happy wrap-up to the lives of Scout, Jem, and Atticus, then take to the fan fiction boards and write your own damn sequel. 

Lee didn’t owe us a thing.  

 

Help a Writer and an Illustrator Out (Not talking about me)

Authors, , , , , ,

David Kulczyk is a talented author friend of mine who is published under the same imprint as my first book, Folsom’s 93. David’s previous titles, Death in California, California’s Fruits, Flakes & Nuts, and California Justice are excellent true crime reads; I highly recommend them. For his forthcoming book, about the murdering ladies of the golden state, he’s hired an illustrator to provide original drawings. David is working with Oalf Jens, an amazing illustrator, but of course, it costs money. If you’d like to help a couple of guys out, check out David’s Go Fun Me; every little bit helps.

Go Fund MeAs David says, “being a writer is a tough row to hoe.” Because of my own fondness for whacked out, historical true crime, I’m enthusiastic about this new book. Also, tune in and listen to David on True Murder podcast; it’s a great interview.

Thanks!

California Fruits, Flakes & Nuts

Writing Prompt Wednesday

Writing Prompt Wednesday, , , , , ,

Writing Prompt WednesdayI took a little breather, but now the prompts are back. Same “rules” apply: Pick one, two, or however many you want, and write something. Post it here if you’d like. Write a story, whip out some flash fiction; just write. 

  • I bought it thinking it would help me win him back.
  • I should have known the police would find me.
  • The documents burned faster than I anticipated.
  • The trick to getting out of a hostage situation is . . .
  • She wondered what he’d look like carrying a . . .
  • Margo regretted taking the shortcut to work.
  • David had on that ridiculous shirt he bought at Caesar’s Palace.
  • Ruth didn’t expect to find herself in the same situation as before. 

Happy writing!

 

You Gonna Edit That?

Writing, Writing Process & Tips, , , , ,

Grammar Books -- April J. MooreWhen our son was little and we’d eat out, he often saved his French fries for last. The untouched fries would drive my husband bananas. You gonna eat those? He clung to the hope that our son would be too full to finish them once he finally got around to it. More often than not, our son, right before jetting off to the playground, would pass the few cold, remaining fries to his dad. All was right in the world again.

I’m the same way with editing. I like to organize and clean things up, so when it comes to editing, I bask in grammar glory that there are rules about such things. And yes, I know it comes off as annoying to some, but whether you like it or not, these editing shenanigans matter. They can make or break you as a successful writer.

I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t always adhere to these rules and I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Fortunately, those mistakes are fixable and over the years, I’ve learned a great deal. I love reading manuscripts and offering content and copy edits. When I catch plot mishaps and dangling modifiers in a piece of writing, all is right my world again.

There are computer nerds, science nerds, and there are word nerds. That’s me. So I’m thrilled to tell you that I’m now offering editing services. You thought my Grammar Nazi ways were obnoxious already . . .

You see, I just want to get paid for being obnoxious. But helpful and professional, too. Whether it’s a full or partial manuscript, or an essay, or short story, I want to help. Visit my editing services page to learn more about what I can do to help bring your writing project to the next level.

And, on a somewhat unrelated matter, here is the Northern Colorado Writers podcast where Kelly Baugh and I discuss our latest books, our creative influences, and a hot new genre we are very excited about.

Mid-week Updates

Writing, , , , ,

Even though I’m taking a bit of a break these last several weeks, the world apparently keeps turning. I wanted to let you in a few tidbits of happenings. 
goodreads

First, head on over to Goodreads and enter a chance to win my latest novel, Bobbing for Watermelons. The fact that it’s National Watermelon Month ought to enhance your reading experience, right? 

This week, I’m at The Writing Bug ranting about rules. I like rules . . . just don’t ask me to adhere to them playing Monopoly, because I won’t. 

My flash fiction piece, “An Affair to Forget” is in Baby Shoes: 100 Stories by 100 Authors, available for pre-order and can be yours on July 20th. There are some amazing authors featured in the book and I’m excited to check them out. And flash fiction—how fun is that to read?!

And finally, check out the NCW Podcast where Rich Keller speaks to authors, industry professionals, and everything writing. I’ll be on an upcoming episode with my fellow Hot Chocolate Press author, Kelly Baugh. We discussed Geriatric Erotica . . . seriously. So look out for that episode.

Happy writing! 

June Swoon

Life Moments, , ,

I grew up as a Cubs fan so I know all about the June Swoon. It’s something my father would say with a sigh as we watched the Cubbies chalk up another loss. Just when we thought they were on their way, in came the slump. My own June Swoon actually started in May, and I’m still trying to weasel out of its grasp.

This is my writing desk, newly painted. I figured since I haven’t been using it, it’d be a fine time to repaint it.

Writing desk I realized, that when I had spent more time at the desk peeling the old paint off of it, than writing, it was time to take a break. The paint-peeling worked as a distraction from the glaring blank screen, but then the ugly desk became a distraction from the writing (at least, that’s what I told myself). I could talk about how peeling the layers of paint was like peeling back the layers of a scene or a character, or blah, blah, blah, but really, sometimes peeling paint is just that: peeling paint. It was also a sign that I need to step away for a little while. So that’s what I’ve done. 

Yesterday, as I got caught up with some podcasts, I scraped, sanded, and painted. And it felt good. It’s still in the garage with its new-desk smell and will eventually be hauled back upstairs. I’ll let it sit pretty for a little while as I work on peeling back my own layers and seeing what’s underneath. (Sorry, I had to do it.)

And it all started with a killer sunset . . .

Kayaking
SunsetDo you ever feel the need to step away from a project? How do you deal with a writing slump?

 

Writing Prompt Wednesday {Song Lyric Edition}

Writing Prompt Wednesday, , , ,

Writing Prompt WednesdayThings have been slow around here lately, so maybe one of these song lyrics will help spark a story. Songwriters tell their own stories. What story do these lyrics tell you?

  • Will you wait for me?
    Natalie Merchant, “Frozen Charlotte”
  • As he stands there in the door 
    there’s no room for him anymore.
    She lies there saying,
    “Honey take one last look.”
    Greg Brown, “My New Book”
  • I don’t have time to go back in time.
    I already lived it.
    Pete Yorn, “Close”
  • That morning sky gave me a look
    So I left while you were sleeping.
    Blind Pilot, “Half Moon”
  • was it you on my arm 
    like a tattoo carved in
    your strawberry curls
    against my black leather grin
    Jeff Finlin, “Long Lonesome Death of a Traveling Man”
  • She said she’d call but that was three weeks ago
    She left all her things well, her books and her letters from him
    Dido, “Mary’s in India”
  • And it’s impossible to tell
    How important someone was
    And what you might have missed out on
    And how he might have changed it all
    Feist, “Intuition”
  • We tried to make it work, you in a cocktail skirt and me in a suit but it just wasn’t me,
    David Gray, “Say Hello Wave Goodbye”

Hmmm . . . I now see a somewhat melancholy theme here . . . (and they’re all some of my favorites).

Well, happy writing!